no you cant smoke seaweed
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
