just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
