I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize