no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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