hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
