I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
