Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Randomize
