Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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