Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
