beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
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Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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