I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
