i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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