Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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