He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
