Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
