so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
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Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
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What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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