im drinking this country out of the recession.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
