Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
In America we eat man semen.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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