I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
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You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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