It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
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A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
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pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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