I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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