Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
