it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize