I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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