I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
