Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize