was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
