And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
