Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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