so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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