There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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