tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
