She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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