Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize