i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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