I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
