You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
