dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
