dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
