so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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