Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
