dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
