...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
