There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
