apparently the secret to your success is patron
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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