Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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