its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
