I heard we made out
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
