Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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