im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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