Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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