plz talk dirty to me
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
