Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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