census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Your cock deserves a montage
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
