When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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