I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
and you fell through a lawn chair
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
