I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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