This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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