i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
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Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize