i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
