Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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